Everybody has had the experience of believing 鈥� rightly or wrongly 鈥� that their teacher just doesn鈥檛 like them. Perhaps something specific has happened, or maybe it鈥檚 just a general sense of unease. Either way, it really can affect your confidence and it may even destroy your enthusiasm for a subject.
With this in mind, it鈥檚 better to confront the situation and try to improve it than to ignore things for an entire year.
How real is it?
The first thing to ask yourself is what are you basing this on? If you鈥檙e basing your feeling on the marks you鈥檝e been getting, you need to make sure you鈥檙e not blaming the teacher for something that鈥檚 really on you. Is it something your teacher said that one time? Perhaps she was in a bad mood, perhaps she herself regrets her behaviour that day. If your friends also believe the teacher in question doesn鈥檛 like them, it might just be his manner. Some teachers don鈥檛 believe in smiling until November!
If it鈥檚 real, is it you?
If you鈥檙e still sure that your teacher鈥檚 attitude towards you leaves a lot to be desired, you need to do a little bit of self-reflection. Have you done anything (however unintentional) to alienate him? Do you tend to talk in class? Do you distract people around you? Have you been (and this is almost impossible to believe, obvs) a bit of a smart-arse? No one is suggesting that other people鈥檚 behaviour is your responsibility, but it鈥檚 always best to consider every angle before you decide how to fix the situation.
It鈥檚 time to talk
Let鈥檚 assume that you鈥檝e considered and eliminated all of the above possibilities. Your teacher is still treating you like you鈥檙e a bad person and you鈥檙e starting to feel really negative about going to her classes. You鈥檙e going to have to talk to her. It鈥檚 not an easy conversation, but it鈥檚 an important one. And it will grow your skills in having difficult conversations 鈥� which every adult has to have.
This needs to be quite a formal situation so it鈥檚 probably best to approach your teacher and ask if you can make an appointment to see him in private. This is not something to discuss in a crowded staffroom or classroom. Make sure your request is respectful 鈥� you need to show respect to receive it.
At the meeting itself, it鈥檚 best just to be clear about your concerns.
Try something like, 鈥淢s X, I get the feeling that we don鈥檛 get on as well as I鈥檇 like, and I want to know how to make things better.鈥�
Even if you鈥檝e concluded that it鈥檚 not you but her, it鈥檚 important to demonstrate humility in your opening gambit. Rather than focus just on the teacher/student relationship, indicate that this is spoiling your attitude to her subject (鈥淚鈥檓 beginning to really hate Maths and I鈥檓 concerned that I鈥檒l drop it as soon as I can, even though I used to like it and be quite good at it鈥�).
Most teachers care more about their subject than they do about a single student. That might not work with English, given that you can鈥檛 drop it, but if your English teacher is the problem, suggest that you鈥檙e contemplating giving up reading altogether. That鈥檒l strike a chord!
Chances are your teacher will deny that she has any negative attitude to you. But now she鈥檒l be aware of the impact her behaviour is having on you and she might be more careful. What鈥檚 more, it鈥檚 entirely possible that she just didn鈥檛 understand how you were feeling. Perhaps you really did do something that upset her. Best to have everything out in the open.
Could you make things worse?
It鈥檚 possible, although unlikely, that your open and honest conversation actually makes things worse. If you think your teacher鈥檚 behaviour is unjustified and unprofessional, it might be worth taking things to the next level. You can speak to the Head of Department, Year Advisor, or even the Assistant Principal. Again, make sure you speak with respect about the teacher in question 鈥� you don鈥檛 want to give the impression that you鈥檝e simply got an axe to grind. And hey, it may be possible for you to request a change of class and the problem will be solved.
Should your parents help?
It鈥檚 best to avoid getting your parents involved in this whole process. They may be itching to talk to the teacher on your behalf and believe that an adult-to-adult conversation will solve the problem with the greatest efficiency. The thing is, you really need to learn to deal with situations like this yourself. In this world, not everyone鈥檚 going to like you. After all, it鈥檚 unlikely that you like all your teachers.
The important thing is not really whether or not you like one another, but whether you can learn from and work with your teacher. It may well be that by tackling the situation with respect and maturity, you impress your teacher enough to turn the whole thing around. And rather than let your parents rescue you, don鈥檛 you want to wear the superhero cape yourself?
